I forgot a few of my quirks:
I don't like drinking water out of a mug. SICK...it literally doesn't taste as good. This goes the opposite direction as well, hot chocolate out of a plastic cup...I don't know if I've tried it but I don't think I want to!
Also can we address picky eaters? This is a definite pet peeve of mine...don't like them. And when people won't try new foods! Don't get me started...buck up and take it like a man! How do you know you don't like it if you're not willing to give it a try. Plus, isn't curiosity killing you? It's not like I'm asking you to eat something off fear factor that still has a beating heart! Sheesh!!
Okay, that concludes this session.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Make-up, hair, the whole nine yards.
Okay, once again my aunt's blog has led me to post...I can't refrain from expressing my view points on the a fore mentioned daily rituals imposed and demanded of by society.
The question of interest was, "I decided that if I feel like I look better with it on--and I must since I wear it when I dress up--why would I not want to try and look better all the time?
I'll tell you why, it's a pain in the butt to look your best all the time. It's TIME consuming. For any of my male readers...(assuming I have any)...let me list for you the crap a girl must go through to always be looking her best.
Make-up, hair (this includes wash, blow dry, and straighten/curl), and the whole nine yard. Let me expound on the whole nine yards....plucking your eye brows on a daily basis, shaving your legs, pits, and other area when necessitated by bathing suits, picking out clothes, picking out accessories...I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting.
All this and we haven't even discussed "fat days". Fat days are an unexplainable phenomenon that happens quite frequently. Let me explain...that oh so flattering and adorable outfit you wore two weeks ago and planned to wear again for church this morning is suddenly making you look like a frumpy cow!!! What gives??? Maybe if you just change your top...okay that didn't work but six shirts later you found one that looks decent. But now your skirt doesn't really go with it. Then we have the question of boots or heels? Brown or cream socks, nylons or no nylons, big or small earrings, belt or no belt, vest or no vest, the list is almost indefinite and now you must decide to pull your hair back, wear it curly or straight, head band or no head band...I'm exhausted just typing about it all!
Can you even imagine what my room looks like now?? But there is no time to pick up because I've already made myself late to whatever function I was getting ready for! And by the time I come home from dancing at 1 am I am much too tired to hang up the massacre of clothes on my bed. Thus I gather them in my arms and plop them on the floor. I would pick them up in the morning but I've already hit the snooze three times and have about T-2 seconds to get my butt to school! Which leads me to the fact I clean my room at least once or twice a week but it always looks like a mess?
Stupid Oprah!! That's right, I watched an episode a few years ago in which Oprah said you have to always look your best. Whether you're running to the grocery store for a nasal decongestant or going out on the town because you never know when you're going to meet "Mr. Right". Well guess what Big O., Mr. Right ain't right unless he loves me when I look like butt too! Okay, I realize I'm getting carried away. That is all.
The question of interest was, "I decided that if I feel like I look better with it on--and I must since I wear it when I dress up--why would I not want to try and look better all the time?
I'll tell you why, it's a pain in the butt to look your best all the time. It's TIME consuming. For any of my male readers...(assuming I have any)...let me list for you the crap a girl must go through to always be looking her best.
Make-up, hair (this includes wash, blow dry, and straighten/curl), and the whole nine yard. Let me expound on the whole nine yards....plucking your eye brows on a daily basis, shaving your legs, pits, and other area when necessitated by bathing suits, picking out clothes, picking out accessories...I'm sure there are things I'm forgetting.
All this and we haven't even discussed "fat days". Fat days are an unexplainable phenomenon that happens quite frequently. Let me explain...that oh so flattering and adorable outfit you wore two weeks ago and planned to wear again for church this morning is suddenly making you look like a frumpy cow!!! What gives??? Maybe if you just change your top...okay that didn't work but six shirts later you found one that looks decent. But now your skirt doesn't really go with it. Then we have the question of boots or heels? Brown or cream socks, nylons or no nylons, big or small earrings, belt or no belt, vest or no vest, the list is almost indefinite and now you must decide to pull your hair back, wear it curly or straight, head band or no head band...I'm exhausted just typing about it all!
Can you even imagine what my room looks like now?? But there is no time to pick up because I've already made myself late to whatever function I was getting ready for! And by the time I come home from dancing at 1 am I am much too tired to hang up the massacre of clothes on my bed. Thus I gather them in my arms and plop them on the floor. I would pick them up in the morning but I've already hit the snooze three times and have about T-2 seconds to get my butt to school! Which leads me to the fact I clean my room at least once or twice a week but it always looks like a mess?
Stupid Oprah!! That's right, I watched an episode a few years ago in which Oprah said you have to always look your best. Whether you're running to the grocery store for a nasal decongestant or going out on the town because you never know when you're going to meet "Mr. Right". Well guess what Big O., Mr. Right ain't right unless he loves me when I look like butt too! Okay, I realize I'm getting carried away. That is all.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Idiosyncrasies and the Big 30
In reviewing my blogging history I noted this is officially my 30th post!! Wow, that seems like of lot of nonsense I've published. Anyhow the inspiration for this post came from my aunt's new blog in which she recently posted on her OCD idiosyncrasies regarding her hygienic behavior. Another great feature is her post on the physiological under pinnings of the Japanese Body Type. I highly recommend this read to everyone!!
Any who...I thought I'd fill you in on some of my own personal idiosyncrasies...for your reading pleasure, and also because I know they will drive my aunt crazy! Personally I find this type of information fascinating...(Steve, I would thoroughly enjoy reading about your OCD behavior). Okay, here we go...
1. I floss my teeth before I brush...I think I used to be the opposite but I think it makes sense this way. I like to get the gunk out from between and then clean everything out. I don't want anything flinging off the floss into my freshly brushed mouth! Think about it...
2. I prefer to rinse with warm water when brushing my teeth. That's right, warm water. I'll admit there was a time in my life when such a thought revolted me! But out of curiosity I had to try it. Yes, there is a certain minty freshness that accompanies a cold water rinse. But there is less of a sting and no sensitivity to luke warm water! Yummy!
3. In response to Sonja's post...I don't think I have a set order when it comes to washing the face and brushing the teeth.
4. I definitely DON'T wash my hair every day. Well, sometimes I do...and I will admit I love having freshly washed hair. But it's mega booty work...and not always practical. Monday, that's a definite NO. First of all you just washed your hair on Sunday, and because it's the day of rest and it's not like it got sweaty! Depending on what you decide to do Monday that may extend to Tuesday as well. Lest you think I'm a wretched dirty mongrel by now I will inform you I still shower my body, wash my face twice a day, wear clean clothes, and wear deodorant. And I've become quite obsessed with always washing my feet in the bathtub before slipping into my sheets.
Besides, there is nothing better than being complimented on "left overs". That's what I call my hair the second and third day out. Luckily I've been blessed with non greasy hair. In fact sometimes I prefer day 2 to day 1...a little less frizzy, a little more sheen giving it that healthy glow :) Okay...I could go on...I'll refrain for now.
5. Some people in my family prefer left over dinner for breakfast...we're talking reheat a piece of lasagna or how bout some cold salmon, sushi, and soy sauce! Let me just say, this does NOT bode well with me. There are just some foods not meant for human consumption that early in the morning.
6. Cereal must be consumed as soon as milk is poured onto it.
7. Salads that have been mixed with dressing are NOT to be saved and eaten as left overs! SICK...wilted lettuce is disgusting. When ordering a salad at Cafe Rio I advise you to only pour dressing on half the lettuce or else eat all the lettuce and take the rice, beans, and meat home as left overs...or just eat the whole thing at once. (depends if you want to feel completely over indulgent and sick after you eat?) I thought of the soggy tortilla is also a little revolting but still pretty tasty when reheated.
8. The smell of left overs in the car is enough to invoke the gag reflex...(yes, I know one person who actually enjoys this smell!) This is actually a strange phenomenon...I mean the smell of food cooking over the open flame of a stove or wafting out of the oven is inviting. But opening the fridge or the car door after a dinner and a movie is just plain wrong!
9. Feet are dirty. Indeed some may say I have a phobia of feet...I would disagree. If you would like to massage or touch my feet...be my guest, I find this quite enjoyable. But PLEASE do not expect me to reciprocate! I would appreciate if you kept your nasty toes to yourself. Okay, under certain circumstances I may make exceptions...if you have just washed your feet, you appear to be free of any type of toe nail fungi and athletes foot, no bunions or corns, or open sores, I may consider touching your feet. If you are a baby or my niece or nephew I may even LOVE your tiny soft feet. If you are my brother I will NEVER touch your feet!
10. I prefer my hot apple pie, brownies, and warm cookies not to touch my ice cream. It detracts from the warmth and makes them soggy. I do however like Oreo's dipped in milk, and milk on the side of brownies and hot cookies. Root beer floats are usually better separate as well. I enjoy how the root beer crystallizes on the ice cream...but that murky root beer once the ice cream is gone!!! SICK!
Okay, this list could go on indefinitely...and I'm not sure I'm actually entertaining anyone but myself. If you have any oddities of your own, please do share!
Any who...I thought I'd fill you in on some of my own personal idiosyncrasies...for your reading pleasure, and also because I know they will drive my aunt crazy! Personally I find this type of information fascinating...(Steve, I would thoroughly enjoy reading about your OCD behavior). Okay, here we go...
1. I floss my teeth before I brush...I think I used to be the opposite but I think it makes sense this way. I like to get the gunk out from between and then clean everything out. I don't want anything flinging off the floss into my freshly brushed mouth! Think about it...
2. I prefer to rinse with warm water when brushing my teeth. That's right, warm water. I'll admit there was a time in my life when such a thought revolted me! But out of curiosity I had to try it. Yes, there is a certain minty freshness that accompanies a cold water rinse. But there is less of a sting and no sensitivity to luke warm water! Yummy!
3. In response to Sonja's post...I don't think I have a set order when it comes to washing the face and brushing the teeth.
4. I definitely DON'T wash my hair every day. Well, sometimes I do...and I will admit I love having freshly washed hair. But it's mega booty work...and not always practical. Monday, that's a definite NO. First of all you just washed your hair on Sunday, and because it's the day of rest and it's not like it got sweaty! Depending on what you decide to do Monday that may extend to Tuesday as well. Lest you think I'm a wretched dirty mongrel by now I will inform you I still shower my body, wash my face twice a day, wear clean clothes, and wear deodorant. And I've become quite obsessed with always washing my feet in the bathtub before slipping into my sheets.
Besides, there is nothing better than being complimented on "left overs". That's what I call my hair the second and third day out. Luckily I've been blessed with non greasy hair. In fact sometimes I prefer day 2 to day 1...a little less frizzy, a little more sheen giving it that healthy glow :) Okay...I could go on...I'll refrain for now.
5. Some people in my family prefer left over dinner for breakfast...we're talking reheat a piece of lasagna or how bout some cold salmon, sushi, and soy sauce! Let me just say, this does NOT bode well with me. There are just some foods not meant for human consumption that early in the morning.
6. Cereal must be consumed as soon as milk is poured onto it.
7. Salads that have been mixed with dressing are NOT to be saved and eaten as left overs! SICK...wilted lettuce is disgusting. When ordering a salad at Cafe Rio I advise you to only pour dressing on half the lettuce or else eat all the lettuce and take the rice, beans, and meat home as left overs...or just eat the whole thing at once. (depends if you want to feel completely over indulgent and sick after you eat?) I thought of the soggy tortilla is also a little revolting but still pretty tasty when reheated.
8. The smell of left overs in the car is enough to invoke the gag reflex...(yes, I know one person who actually enjoys this smell!) This is actually a strange phenomenon...I mean the smell of food cooking over the open flame of a stove or wafting out of the oven is inviting. But opening the fridge or the car door after a dinner and a movie is just plain wrong!
9. Feet are dirty. Indeed some may say I have a phobia of feet...I would disagree. If you would like to massage or touch my feet...be my guest, I find this quite enjoyable. But PLEASE do not expect me to reciprocate! I would appreciate if you kept your nasty toes to yourself. Okay, under certain circumstances I may make exceptions...if you have just washed your feet, you appear to be free of any type of toe nail fungi and athletes foot, no bunions or corns, or open sores, I may consider touching your feet. If you are a baby or my niece or nephew I may even LOVE your tiny soft feet. If you are my brother I will NEVER touch your feet!
10. I prefer my hot apple pie, brownies, and warm cookies not to touch my ice cream. It detracts from the warmth and makes them soggy. I do however like Oreo's dipped in milk, and milk on the side of brownies and hot cookies. Root beer floats are usually better separate as well. I enjoy how the root beer crystallizes on the ice cream...but that murky root beer once the ice cream is gone!!! SICK!
Okay, this list could go on indefinitely...and I'm not sure I'm actually entertaining anyone but myself. If you have any oddities of your own, please do share!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Lack of Energy
Do you ever just lack the energy to do anything...so instead you sit around and do nothing?
For instance I am stuck in a chair right now in my office because I lack the energy to brave the mile long walk to my car in the snow. And once I arrive at my car, because I have lacked the energy to go buy a snow brush, (who knows where the one from last winter went?? it will most likely show up sometime along with three others and then I'll have four when all I need is one!!), I will have to scrape my car off with my arm...and undoubtedly will get snow up my jacket sleeve. Then I will have to wait for twenty minutes for the heater in my car to start working. And after driving in second gear all the way out to north/west Orem (I like to remind people I live in an entirely different city!) because the roads are so slick, and the Smurf mobile likes to fishtail, I will arrive at my home 40 minutes later. Upon arrival I will have to search the streets for a suitable parking spot, one I can assuredly not get stuck in over night. Then I'll have to muster up the will to leave the warm vehicle and brave to cold icy sidewalks. After lugging all my bags into the house i'll stand face to face with the lack of energy to make dinner...
And that is why I continue to waste time sitting here...because the alternative...although inevitable, does not sound very inviting.
This is the very same dilemma I face every night as I have to get ready to go to bed. I can't even bare to outline all the steps I must follow before flopping my head onto my pillow. Which is why I stay up too late night after night and feel exhausted the next day when I have to get up early.
Someone help me break free of the insanity!!! :)
For instance I am stuck in a chair right now in my office because I lack the energy to brave the mile long walk to my car in the snow. And once I arrive at my car, because I have lacked the energy to go buy a snow brush, (who knows where the one from last winter went?? it will most likely show up sometime along with three others and then I'll have four when all I need is one!!), I will have to scrape my car off with my arm...and undoubtedly will get snow up my jacket sleeve. Then I will have to wait for twenty minutes for the heater in my car to start working. And after driving in second gear all the way out to north/west Orem (I like to remind people I live in an entirely different city!) because the roads are so slick, and the Smurf mobile likes to fishtail, I will arrive at my home 40 minutes later. Upon arrival I will have to search the streets for a suitable parking spot, one I can assuredly not get stuck in over night. Then I'll have to muster up the will to leave the warm vehicle and brave to cold icy sidewalks. After lugging all my bags into the house i'll stand face to face with the lack of energy to make dinner...
And that is why I continue to waste time sitting here...because the alternative...although inevitable, does not sound very inviting.
This is the very same dilemma I face every night as I have to get ready to go to bed. I can't even bare to outline all the steps I must follow before flopping my head onto my pillow. Which is why I stay up too late night after night and feel exhausted the next day when I have to get up early.
Someone help me break free of the insanity!!! :)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Trench Mouth
Okay, for those who don't know...I finally proposed! Although I sometimes come off as a strong headed opinionated feminist of sorts, I'm not talking marriage proposal here. I finally proposed my literature review and research topic to my committee of professors and obtained approval from the school to start collecting data for my thesis! It only took me three years...but I'm already a self proclaimed slacker face, so it's cool. (and yes, please add slacker face, jerk face, idiot face, dummy head etc. to your verbal repertoire as I use them quite commonly)
So after a slightly sweat breaking presentation to a group of professors from our department...here is a photo of Stephanie and I showing off our signatures.
Seeing as Stephanie decided to be all grown up and get married in February...she was quite anxious to get started on our data collection. (Despite all sarcastic remarks I will be eternally indebted to Stephanie for pushing me to actually accomplish work on my master's thesis) Being naive and over zealous, we scheduled no fewer than 5 subjects for our very first day of lactate threshold testing.
Note: when doing research plan on every possible worst case scenario taking place
As is the nature of research for everything to go drastically wrong...our first day in the lab was no disappointment. The day started off around 6:30 am. Testing out my new found phlebotomy skills was stressful in and of itself...and although I find myself quite adept in the area of sticking needles in people's veins, I was not without fault a time or two.
Secondly we managed to pick the world's most pansy butt boys for our study. Okay, that is a bit harsh, but literally as soon as we got our first guy up and running on the treadmill in the midst of blood samples every three minutes, I went to check on the second subject who was supposed to be watching tv for 30 mins. He reported he was feeling slightly light headed after looking down at the venous catheter I so expertly placed in his antecubital vein. Thus, I decided to help him to a chair to sit down and no sooner found Stephanie rushing to my aid as he fainted in my arms!
To make a long story a bit shorter...the blood analyzing took us longer than expected and after a grueling 14 hours in the lab with no stops for food or drink we headed home around 9pm, discouraged and dreading the next day. The fun continued the rest of the week as we placed subjects on the underwater treadmill only to find their veins constricting in response to the cold...Anyhow, the whole point of this was we worked about 12-14 hours every day that week. Yeah, it pretty much sucked and things such as eating lunch or dinner kinda got pushed on the back burner.
Before I knew it I had lost five pounds and was experiencing a raging fever Friday afternoon. Yet we were in the midst of our last subject of the day and there was no one else that could step in and help Stephanie as it was past 5pm in the evening. Thus I stayed in the lab and sat in a chair, (for lack of strength to stand), bundled up in my winter jacket because I was freezing cold and pipeted those stupid blood samples! As I contemplated having to come back the next day, Saturday, to work in the lab another 6 hours in addition to having to attend my friend's bridal shower and go to salsa rehearsal while feeling like crap I could not stop the tears from streaming down my face! Meanwhile it was Stephanie's birthday and she too had been laboring for about 12 hours that day! Yes, that week was filled with many tears for the both of us...
Additionally I had noticed something strange about my gums...they seemed really tender. In fact when I stopped to eat an apple for lunch on Friday they started bleeding when I bit into it. By Saturday morning they were all swollen and red and it hurt to brush my teeth. Sunday was worse and I found I could not each anything without excruciating pain in my gums...indeed they ached when I wasn't eating. I finally went into the doctor Monday morning was diagnosed with Acute Necrotizing Ulcerative Gingivitis (ANUG).
The doctor started me on penicillin and had me rinsing my mouth with hydrogen peroxide. Out of curiosity and skepticism as to whether she had correctly diagnosed my condition I looked up ANUG on the internet. It turns out it described my symptoms to a T! Fever, swollen gums,
lymph nodes, painful ulcers on the gums which may spread to lips and cheeks, concomitant viral infections, more common in young adults under the age of 35.
Apparently ANUG is caused when there are too many normal mouth bacteria. It can be triggered by emotional stress, poor nutrition, smoking, poor oral hygiene, or throat, tooth, or mouth infections. This lovely disease is also commonly referred to as Trench Mouth because many of the soldiers were afflicted with it during WWI. Because I have impeccable oral hygiene which has not changed...I self diagnosed the cause to be emotional stress. However a possibility exists I had another stupid viral infection in my tonsils which could have triggered it. By any means it was quite painful and lasted a full 10-13 days before my mouth fully recovered. As always...I couldn't resist taking a few pictures. So behold if you dare...the TRENCH MOUTH!
Okay, this is me, slighlty comparable to vampire if you will. Completely alluring from the outside appearance (okay, no I don't think I'm that cute but you get the point)...little do you know what lurks behind those lips.
Here the ulcers have so lovingly spread to my lip.
Okay, for those of you brave enough click on the image to really enlarge it. Please note the lining of my gums on my upper front teeth...yes, not smooth but rough. Please note all the white ulcers particularly noticable on the lower gums.
And this is what I got to wake up to quite frequently...blood clotted gums.
Oh, I managed to get about five canker sores on my tongue as well.
So after a slightly sweat breaking presentation to a group of professors from our department...here is a photo of Stephanie and I showing off our signatures.
Seeing as Stephanie decided to be all grown up and get married in February...she was quite anxious to get started on our data collection. (Despite all sarcastic remarks I will be eternally indebted to Stephanie for pushing me to actually accomplish work on my master's thesis) Being naive and over zealous, we scheduled no fewer than 5 subjects for our very first day of lactate threshold testing.
Note: when doing research plan on every possible worst case scenario taking place
As is the nature of research for everything to go drastically wrong...our first day in the lab was no disappointment. The day started off around 6:30 am. Testing out my new found phlebotomy skills was stressful in and of itself...and although I find myself quite adept in the area of sticking needles in people's veins, I was not without fault a time or two.
Secondly we managed to pick the world's most pansy butt boys for our study. Okay, that is a bit harsh, but literally as soon as we got our first guy up and running on the treadmill in the midst of blood samples every three minutes, I went to check on the second subject who was supposed to be watching tv for 30 mins. He reported he was feeling slightly light headed after looking down at the venous catheter I so expertly placed in his antecubital vein. Thus, I decided to help him to a chair to sit down and no sooner found Stephanie rushing to my aid as he fainted in my arms!
To make a long story a bit shorter...the blood analyzing took us longer than expected and after a grueling 14 hours in the lab with no stops for food or drink we headed home around 9pm, discouraged and dreading the next day. The fun continued the rest of the week as we placed subjects on the underwater treadmill only to find their veins constricting in response to the cold...Anyhow, the whole point of this was we worked about 12-14 hours every day that week. Yeah, it pretty much sucked and things such as eating lunch or dinner kinda got pushed on the back burner.
Before I knew it I had lost five pounds and was experiencing a raging fever Friday afternoon. Yet we were in the midst of our last subject of the day and there was no one else that could step in and help Stephanie as it was past 5pm in the evening. Thus I stayed in the lab and sat in a chair, (for lack of strength to stand), bundled up in my winter jacket because I was freezing cold and pipeted those stupid blood samples! As I contemplated having to come back the next day, Saturday, to work in the lab another 6 hours in addition to having to attend my friend's bridal shower and go to salsa rehearsal while feeling like crap I could not stop the tears from streaming down my face! Meanwhile it was Stephanie's birthday and she too had been laboring for about 12 hours that day! Yes, that week was filled with many tears for the both of us...
Additionally I had noticed something strange about my gums...they seemed really tender. In fact when I stopped to eat an apple for lunch on Friday they started bleeding when I bit into it. By Saturday morning they were all swollen and red and it hurt to brush my teeth. Sunday was worse and I found I could not each anything without excruciating pain in my gums...indeed they ached when I wasn't eating. I finally went into the doctor Monday morning was diagnosed with Acute Necrotizing Ulcerative Gingivitis (ANUG).
The doctor started me on penicillin and had me rinsing my mouth with hydrogen peroxide. Out of curiosity and skepticism as to whether she had correctly diagnosed my condition I looked up ANUG on the internet. It turns out it described my symptoms to a T! Fever, swollen gums,
lymph nodes, painful ulcers on the gums which may spread to lips and cheeks, concomitant viral infections, more common in young adults under the age of 35.
Apparently ANUG is caused when there are too many normal mouth bacteria. It can be triggered by emotional stress, poor nutrition, smoking, poor oral hygiene, or throat, tooth, or mouth infections. This lovely disease is also commonly referred to as Trench Mouth because many of the soldiers were afflicted with it during WWI. Because I have impeccable oral hygiene which has not changed...I self diagnosed the cause to be emotional stress. However a possibility exists I had another stupid viral infection in my tonsils which could have triggered it. By any means it was quite painful and lasted a full 10-13 days before my mouth fully recovered. As always...I couldn't resist taking a few pictures. So behold if you dare...the TRENCH MOUTH!
Okay, this is me, slighlty comparable to vampire if you will. Completely alluring from the outside appearance (okay, no I don't think I'm that cute but you get the point)...little do you know what lurks behind those lips.
Here the ulcers have so lovingly spread to my lip.
Okay, for those of you brave enough click on the image to really enlarge it. Please note the lining of my gums on my upper front teeth...yes, not smooth but rough. Please note all the white ulcers particularly noticable on the lower gums.
And this is what I got to wake up to quite frequently...blood clotted gums.
Oh, I managed to get about five canker sores on my tongue as well.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
St. Georgeous
So for whatever reason "Musings of a Mad Scientist" was not met with much enthusiasm? I personally find it fascinatingly revolting! So to spare all the weak stomached I shall post something else so we no longer have to view the beaker of mucousy gastric juice.
Due to my highly developed slacker skills I have many big things to write about and don't know where to start...
Let us travel back in time to the wee hours of the early morn on Oct 4, 2008. It was a cold and rainy morning down in St. George Utah as I loaded the bus at 5:20 am. I pondered the fact I hadn't trained for this marathon at all! Literally one eight mile run approximately 3 weeks before followed by some avid couch potato-ing down in Lake Powell. Upon my return I did one 15 mile run and then gave myself shin splints 5 days before by running a hasty 6 mile downhill loop. IDIOT! I was not looking forward to the run or post-run muscle soreness.
When we got off the bus we headed straightway for the Port-O-John's, I was pretty certain we would not get through the line before the gun sounded. As we waited in the dark and rainy chaos that ensued at the starting line, we we're informed by the announcer this was only the second time it had ever rained in the history of the St. George Marathon!! Lucky us!
As predicted the gun sounded for the start of the race. When I finally got to use the bathroom I realized the Port-O-Potty was fresh out of toilet paper...panic set-in!!
Let's think this through rationally, here are my options:
1. go searching for toilet paper before I drop my draws...well, seeing as there are like 20 people in line behind me it was unlikely I'd get my spot back...not an option
2. limit myself to going "numero uno" and save the rest for later...it's only 26.2 miles of misery...definitely not an option
That pretty much concluded the rational thinking portion. So I did what I had to do and resorted to using the cardboard toilet paper roll for all it was worth! After that I ran to drop off my sweats before heading to the starting line. Although the gun had already sounded, because of the great multitude of runners, many had not even crossed the starting line yet. I jumped in with the crowd and started the drudgery.
As we left the hustle and bustle of the start area we literally ran into a dark abyss. It is at this time you begin thinking to yourself..."I am certainly off my rocker! Why am I doing this? It's both weird and crazy!" And yet the crowds of mentally insane runners surrounding me, the darkness, the rain, the sounds of heavy breathing, shoes on the wet pavement, and Rihanna's latest hit "Disturbia" playing in my head phones filled me with excitement!
I originally started out with the four hour Cliff Bar pacer thinking, I'll keep up with this crowd until I can't hold on anymore. Yet the adrenaline rush in the first mile had me sprinting ahead and reevaluating my game plan...I'll run a little faster while I'm feeling good and then tag onto the group when I start to burn out.
Mile one passed very quickly as did mile two and three. By this point I could feel my shin splints starting to resurface and my calves felt tight. I knew I'd be okay for the first eight miles but was pretty sure I'd feel ready to throw in the towel by mile 13 and most definitely by mile 16. Mile thirteen came and went surprisingly fast! My split time was 1 hr 54 min. That's an 8:45 min average mile time. I must say I was somewhat frustrated with my time. I mean, I've run probably 8-9 half marathons in my day and my fastest one was only 1:50:00 with an average of around 1:54. So here I am running a 1:54 and I've got 13 more miles to go....obviously I could be running those halves much faster!! Argh.
Anyhow as I continued to run it continued to rain. I had been pretty much soaked to the bone by mile two but actually enjoyed the cool weather as I ran. I was shooting for consistent 9 minute miles by this point in the run. The funny thing was I kept coming in under nine and I daresay pretty close to eight minute miles. Eventually by mile 18 I somehow managed to figure I could finish the race pretty darn close to a 3:40... (For those who are unfamiliar that is the Boston Marathon qualifying time for women my age)...all I would have to do is run my last 6 miles each in 8 min flat!
It just so happened the play list on my ipod ended right after I had a glimpse of the Boston Marathon goal. Because of the rain and cold my ipod froze up, so I was going it alone the last six miles. All I can say is those last 6 miles were tough! Almost as mentally exhausting as they were physically. I knew I'd be cutting it close and there would be nothing worse than to miss the qualification time by 30 seconds!
Well, I know I pushed myself as hard as I could the last two miles. My calves were SO incredibly tight. Literally I felt like my calf muscle might rip out of my skin with every step and the jolt of my feet making contact with the ground sent a searing pain up my shins. I dashed across the finish line and stopped my wrist watch...3:40:07
Seven seconds over!!! Oh the agony...my only consolation was that I was done running. Well, the good new is these "Boston Marathon" folk realize that is a harsh reality for many...so they actually give you a 59 second allowance...which in short means...I qualified for the Boston Marathon!!!
Well, it literally took me a week to recover from the race. My friends got a good kick out of watching me try to go up and down stairs...but ultimately it was worth it. And not only did I qualify for the Boston but I ran a negative split running my fastest half marathon ever with a time of 1:46!!
All in all I have concluded I have not pushed myself hard enough in the past. Or perhaps all that salsa dancing has paid off in the cardiovascular department...or road biking :) Either way I've screwed my future running career as I now must beat a 3:40 in my next marathon and a 1:46 in my next half!
Woe is me!
Due to my highly developed slacker skills I have many big things to write about and don't know where to start...
Let us travel back in time to the wee hours of the early morn on Oct 4, 2008. It was a cold and rainy morning down in St. George Utah as I loaded the bus at 5:20 am. I pondered the fact I hadn't trained for this marathon at all! Literally one eight mile run approximately 3 weeks before followed by some avid couch potato-ing down in Lake Powell. Upon my return I did one 15 mile run and then gave myself shin splints 5 days before by running a hasty 6 mile downhill loop. IDIOT! I was not looking forward to the run or post-run muscle soreness.
When we got off the bus we headed straightway for the Port-O-John's, I was pretty certain we would not get through the line before the gun sounded. As we waited in the dark and rainy chaos that ensued at the starting line, we we're informed by the announcer this was only the second time it had ever rained in the history of the St. George Marathon!! Lucky us!
As predicted the gun sounded for the start of the race. When I finally got to use the bathroom I realized the Port-O-Potty was fresh out of toilet paper...panic set-in!!
Let's think this through rationally, here are my options:
1. go searching for toilet paper before I drop my draws...well, seeing as there are like 20 people in line behind me it was unlikely I'd get my spot back...not an option
2. limit myself to going "numero uno" and save the rest for later...it's only 26.2 miles of misery...definitely not an option
That pretty much concluded the rational thinking portion. So I did what I had to do and resorted to using the cardboard toilet paper roll for all it was worth! After that I ran to drop off my sweats before heading to the starting line. Although the gun had already sounded, because of the great multitude of runners, many had not even crossed the starting line yet. I jumped in with the crowd and started the drudgery.
As we left the hustle and bustle of the start area we literally ran into a dark abyss. It is at this time you begin thinking to yourself..."I am certainly off my rocker! Why am I doing this? It's both weird and crazy!" And yet the crowds of mentally insane runners surrounding me, the darkness, the rain, the sounds of heavy breathing, shoes on the wet pavement, and Rihanna's latest hit "Disturbia" playing in my head phones filled me with excitement!
I originally started out with the four hour Cliff Bar pacer thinking, I'll keep up with this crowd until I can't hold on anymore. Yet the adrenaline rush in the first mile had me sprinting ahead and reevaluating my game plan...I'll run a little faster while I'm feeling good and then tag onto the group when I start to burn out.
Mile one passed very quickly as did mile two and three. By this point I could feel my shin splints starting to resurface and my calves felt tight. I knew I'd be okay for the first eight miles but was pretty sure I'd feel ready to throw in the towel by mile 13 and most definitely by mile 16. Mile thirteen came and went surprisingly fast! My split time was 1 hr 54 min. That's an 8:45 min average mile time. I must say I was somewhat frustrated with my time. I mean, I've run probably 8-9 half marathons in my day and my fastest one was only 1:50:00 with an average of around 1:54. So here I am running a 1:54 and I've got 13 more miles to go....obviously I could be running those halves much faster!! Argh.
Anyhow as I continued to run it continued to rain. I had been pretty much soaked to the bone by mile two but actually enjoyed the cool weather as I ran. I was shooting for consistent 9 minute miles by this point in the run. The funny thing was I kept coming in under nine and I daresay pretty close to eight minute miles. Eventually by mile 18 I somehow managed to figure I could finish the race pretty darn close to a 3:40... (For those who are unfamiliar that is the Boston Marathon qualifying time for women my age)...all I would have to do is run my last 6 miles each in 8 min flat!
It just so happened the play list on my ipod ended right after I had a glimpse of the Boston Marathon goal. Because of the rain and cold my ipod froze up, so I was going it alone the last six miles. All I can say is those last 6 miles were tough! Almost as mentally exhausting as they were physically. I knew I'd be cutting it close and there would be nothing worse than to miss the qualification time by 30 seconds!
Well, I know I pushed myself as hard as I could the last two miles. My calves were SO incredibly tight. Literally I felt like my calf muscle might rip out of my skin with every step and the jolt of my feet making contact with the ground sent a searing pain up my shins. I dashed across the finish line and stopped my wrist watch...3:40:07
Seven seconds over!!! Oh the agony...my only consolation was that I was done running. Well, the good new is these "Boston Marathon" folk realize that is a harsh reality for many...so they actually give you a 59 second allowance...which in short means...I qualified for the Boston Marathon!!!
Well, it literally took me a week to recover from the race. My friends got a good kick out of watching me try to go up and down stairs...but ultimately it was worth it. And not only did I qualify for the Boston but I ran a negative split running my fastest half marathon ever with a time of 1:46!!
All in all I have concluded I have not pushed myself hard enough in the past. Or perhaps all that salsa dancing has paid off in the cardiovascular department...or road biking :) Either way I've screwed my future running career as I now must beat a 3:40 in my next marathon and a 1:46 in my next half!
Woe is me!
Acknowledgments
I'd like to give a special thanks to the following individuals for keeping me company the first 18 miles of the marathon:
Rihanna
Chris Brown
Estelle
David Archuletta
Duffy
&
Katy Perry
I'd like to give a special thanks to the following individuals for keeping me company the first 18 miles of the marathon:
Rihanna
Chris Brown
Estelle
David Archuletta
Duffy
&
Katy Perry
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Musings of a Mad Scientist
Date: 19 October 2008
Room Temperature: 23 degrees C
Relative Humidity: 24%
Barometric Pressure: 659 mmHg
INTRODUCTION
Today's study is being used to measure the rate at which pickle juice empties from the stomach. Subjects will be suckered and bribed into the following procedures:
Upon entering the laboratory subjects will ingest 5 ml of water/kg body weight to ensure adequate hydration. After routine placement of a venous catheter and voiding of the bladder the real fun begins...
METHODS
Testing the Gag Reflex:
Subject will begin by testing their gag reflex by inserting a length of plastic NG tubing running through the nose and esophagus and into the stomach. In the event the subject is not man enough to swallow the NG tubing, subject will receive verbal hazing from all laboratory assistants before being dismissed from the study.
Testing the Gag Reflex of Lab Assistants:
When the NG tube has been placed a large syringe will be used to empty the contents of the stomach. All brown floaty gastric juice and foamy mucus is sucked from the stomach and collected in a beaker. This step is not only crucial for obtaining accurate measures of pickle juice concentration later on, but also tests the gag reflex of all lab assistants present.
In Case No One's Thrown Up Yet:
Once the subject's stomach has been emptied they will have 90 seconds to ingest anywhere from 500-700 ml of pickle juice. For those unfamiliar with standard units that's approximately a nice 20 oz. Big Gulp of straight up dill pickle juice!
I believe the look on Brett's face says it all.
However Dan's the one who actually managed to puke pickle juice all over his arm. And yes we had to measure and record the volume of his puke. Yummy!
The Cherry On-Top:
Following the ingestion of pickle juice the gastric contents of the stomach will be mixed by sucking pickle juice in and out of the subject's stomach via their NG tube.
You Really Thought the Fun was Over:
Once the subject is released from the laboratory they will be advised to drink plenty of water immediately to avoid a bad case of the runs...little do they know they will most likely get a bad case of the runs either way.
[ I'll spare you the picture on this one ]
Did I mention we pay $10/hr??
PS- if you haven't had your fill my friend Nate also made a great post on this one...check it out at The Book of Nate.
Room Temperature: 23 degrees C
Relative Humidity: 24%
Barometric Pressure: 659 mmHg
INTRODUCTION
Today's study is being used to measure the rate at which pickle juice empties from the stomach. Subjects will be suckered and bribed into the following procedures:
Upon entering the laboratory subjects will ingest 5 ml of water/kg body weight to ensure adequate hydration. After routine placement of a venous catheter and voiding of the bladder the real fun begins...
METHODS
Testing the Gag Reflex:
Subject will begin by testing their gag reflex by inserting a length of plastic NG tubing running through the nose and esophagus and into the stomach. In the event the subject is not man enough to swallow the NG tubing, subject will receive verbal hazing from all laboratory assistants before being dismissed from the study.
Testing the Gag Reflex of Lab Assistants:
When the NG tube has been placed a large syringe will be used to empty the contents of the stomach. All brown floaty gastric juice and foamy mucus is sucked from the stomach and collected in a beaker. This step is not only crucial for obtaining accurate measures of pickle juice concentration later on, but also tests the gag reflex of all lab assistants present.
In Case No One's Thrown Up Yet:
Once the subject's stomach has been emptied they will have 90 seconds to ingest anywhere from 500-700 ml of pickle juice. For those unfamiliar with standard units that's approximately a nice 20 oz. Big Gulp of straight up dill pickle juice!
I believe the look on Brett's face says it all.
However Dan's the one who actually managed to puke pickle juice all over his arm. And yes we had to measure and record the volume of his puke. Yummy!
The Cherry On-Top:
Following the ingestion of pickle juice the gastric contents of the stomach will be mixed by sucking pickle juice in and out of the subject's stomach via their NG tube.
You Really Thought the Fun was Over:
Once the subject is released from the laboratory they will be advised to drink plenty of water immediately to avoid a bad case of the runs...little do they know they will most likely get a bad case of the runs either way.
[ I'll spare you the picture on this one ]
Did I mention we pay $10/hr??
PS- if you haven't had your fill my friend Nate also made a great post on this one...check it out at The Book of Nate.
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