Satisfaction!

Upon getting married I have felt the responsibility to actually prepare meals instead of just eating a few gold fish and throwing a smoothie in the blender for dinner. Why wasn't I thinner throughout college?? Well of course that meager meal was always followed up by post meal rummaging through the pantry and fridge, a string cheese, yogurt, a few grapes. Then I would usually go out dancing for the evening and upon arrival home at 1 am follow up with a steaming glass of Pero, a few Triscuit's with cottage cheese, and some form of chocolate perhaps smothered in peanut butter. Ah yes, now the calories are adding up.

This "on the go" lifestyle was both time efficient and hassle free. However like I said, there is a twinge of guilt experienced when I expect Chris to fend for himself. So now I engage in the never ending quest for recipes. Not only must I account for the time it takes to prepare the meal but the post meal clean up, menu planning, and grocery shopping. Since I have less time now than I have had previously in my entire life I have three criteria for the perfect recipe:

1. Must be FAST to throw together

2. Must be DELICIOUS or why bother eating it

3. Must be NUTRITIOUS according to my own standards which ideally would be higher but are not. I shall outline them for you below:

• Typically steer clear of red meat especially ground beef but do eat it occasionally
• Typically don't make heavy pasta dishes
• Preferably lots of greens, veges, and fruit
• Love finding a raw recipe but I have found few that meet the DELICIOUS standard
• Try to cook 50% of dinners that are meatless every week if not more
• Avoid cooking with many processed foods

So there you go, my current food standards, judge them as you will it is beside the point of this blog post. I find it hard enough to find recipes meeting my current criteria, but when I do... SUCCESS!!! Oh the joy and satisfaction! Delicious, ridiculously fast and easy, and relatively guil

t free! I don't want my blog to turn into some type of food blog but I experienced this exact joy tonight and I feel obligated to share what may be a gem of a website. We made maple mustard dressing and threw it on a bed of mixed greens topped with sliced bosc pears, fresh blueberries, sliced almonds, and a sprinkle of feta cheese. It was BOMB! And it only took about 5 minutes to throw together with a piece of crusty bread toasted on the side. I only made a half recipe of the dressing if anyone decides to give it a try it was beyond plenty.

I have briefly glanced over the blog I stole this recipe from and it looks very promising! Ah, so satisfied. On top of that great find today I also got a 100% on my evidence based practice exam today! Considering 67% of the class got an A or A- it's not all that impressive but I was 1 out of 5 that got the perfect 100%. Again so satisfying right? All the torturous reading of scientific journal articles, pain staking thesis writing, research classes, and statistics work from grad school finally paid off :) Okay, guess it's not the first time it's paid off but lets just say it was overall a very satisfying day.

PS- Wasn't trying to make Chris look helpless and lazy. Chris always does the dishes, plans the meals, does the grocery shopping, bakes the banana bread, scrubs the floor, darns the socks, etc. Okay minus the last two but he would if I asked :)

The Results Are In!

It is official...

I will be going to nursing school at the University of Utah starting May16th. Which also means no chance of having my first child until I'm 30. I'm nervous, excited, unsure, happy...not really sure which emotion is winning out? But I will say it feels awesome to have been accepted!

Upon my 29th birthday next year I will have complete my 8th year of college...is there something wrong with me? And I've been having fantasy's lately about getting my PhD someday in Ex Phys...yes something is definitely wrong with me.

The Mosquitoes Strike Again

This unprovoked act of criminal battery actually happened back in August. Chris and I were out for a Sunday evening stroll through the park. On our way home we were only five minutes away from the apartment when the mosquito struck. It landed square between my eyes on the delicate flat bridge of my Japanese nose before sinking it's snout (??) into my flesh and beginning to suck the life giving sweet, sweet nectar from my systemic capillaries. I realized what was happening just in time to seek my revenge on the pesky little thug by smashing his guts under the edge of my left index fingernail...but the damage had already been done.

Chris ignored my whiny complaints of an unbearable itching and rapidly swelling nose following the incident on Sunday evening. Even after documenting my slow but steady transformation into an Avatar looking creature Chris insisted the swelling would subside with the application of a small amount of topical hydrocortisone cream and claimed not to notice any deformation of my facial features.

Unfortunately I failed to document the aftermath the next morning that bore a strong resemblance to Quasimodo. When Chris woke up to my screams of horror from the bathroom the next morning he finally decided I was not being over dramatic about the situation and ran off to the drugs store at 6 am to get me Benadryl. I then proceeded to work where I got several exclamations of, "what happened to your face??", and "Is there something wrong with your nose"? This is the second allergic reaction I've had to a mosquito bite and I live in fear of a future encounter. Until then...enjoy the pictures of my afflicted state on Sunday evening entitled...Avatar. I'll also post a picture from our 1 year anniversary back in August because I've been seriously lacking in the photo department as of late and need to prove I don't normally look like an Avatar.


This was within the first hour of being bit...again no picture of the full effect.



One year anniversary!

Teaching Strategies 101

Teaching Strategies 101:

Q: What if I can't answer a students question?
A: This is an easy one, just take your pick from one of my top three responses

1. Well, you're first choice is to make something up. As the teacher you are revered as the authority and they will believe most everything you tell them. I know this because of all the myths I've debunked that were taught by other instructors. Gosh darn it's hard being the competent one :)
2. Respond with thought, intrigue, and humility. "Hmmmm, yes, well that is a very good question Tiny Tim. I actually don't know the answer. I know this may come as a surprise but I don't know all things...just most things."
3. Use scientific limitations to your advantage. "Well, you know...I don't think there is yet a scientific explanation for that. Perhaps you should pursue a doctorate and research this topic further.

Q: How can I more fully enjoy my experience as a teacher?

A: To best enjoy your teaching experience you must take full advantage of your captive audience. Following are a few examples of things I've done.

1. Make sure to share all stories and personal opinions you didn't get to share with the family over Sunday dinner last night.
2. Incorporate all gruesome pictures from your personal blog, (the ones you couldn't get your friends and family to look at) into your PowerPoint presentations.
3. Assign research articles that support your personal opinions as homework assignments.

I have run out of time today but hope you have enjoyed the brief question and answer sessions that was provided. Please feel free to submit any remaining questions in the comments section and I will do my best to reply in a timely fashion.

ml, mm, and lbs

So yeah...I started working at Eagle Gate College back in February and consequently I haven't posted since February. No time and no Internet. Anyhow, one of Chris's friends is letting us borrow his old lap top. So I'm back in business...well maybe not quite but I'll spare ten minutes today.

The skinny on the latest happenings:

Realized my degree is still almost useless...at least when it comes to making a decent dollar for my time and intellect :) (don't I sound snotty...that's right it's Master Grant to you!) So I'm investing even more into education. Don't get me wrong, but Tommy Boy had a point...when you've gone to college for seven years and don't have a doctorate of any kind to show for it, one starts to question the return on investment. Anyhow I forked out some green for a CNA course so I could prove I was competent enough to wipe butts. Really it's probably the menial smalls tasks those of us with a higher education actually struggle with...okay, no we don't.

Anyhow, CNA's are actually required to take an 80 hour certification course! Then you must pass a written exam in addition to a practical exam in which you will be asked to perform 3-4 of the 28 skills you are expected to know. Only then can you get hired for a minimum wage job feeding the elderly a food processed version of what used to be a hot dog.

If you're wondering what these 28 skills consist of let me tell you. Everything from basic hand washing to complicated unit conversion problems. For example, in the hospital things are measured in ml or cc's. 1 ounce = 30 ml, so how many ml are in 5 ounces??? Tricky huh? Yeah, so the nurse who was teaching the course gave us a little unit conversion sheet so we could practice converting ounces to ml. This proved quite the difficult task for the lady sitting next to me. After explaining to her how to do each problem she asked, "How do you know all of this stuff? Do you do this for your job?"

Um, yes lady, I convert oz to ml's all day at work! "No, no, I guess I just always liked math in high school."

Not so bright smoker face replied, "Oh. When I was in school they didn't even teach us millimeters. The only thing we had back then was pounds, and that's all we used."

Yeah, I'm guessing that is NOT true. The last time I checked milliliters weren't invented in the last twenty years! And for the record it's milliLITERS not milliMETERS. You see milliliters are a unit of volume, millimeters are a unit of length, and pounds are not a measure of either volume or length! Pounds are a measure of weight. I tried once to explain the difference between millimeters and milliliters but she just said, "oh, okay", and then kept saying millimeters. Argh!

So this is who I'm going to class with these days. These are the future nurses of America and why is it that they get paid more than me??? Okay, jk...I know several smart nurses out there and that lady doesn't have a prayer of passing her CNA exam.

So that's the skinny.

Great Give Away

Yes, I'm exploiting my blog at the chance of winning something free (really cute hand crafted baby goodness from BooBoo and Norm's). No this is no type of pregnancy announcement. But it's a really great give away for all you mom's or just other baby crazy aunts like myself. Plus my friend Sarah is like a master coupon expert...so those wanting to get into that can learn from the master. Check it all out at Sarah's blog http://licentstosave.blogspot.com/.

Good Idea Bad Idea

Well, as much as I would like to post funny stories about my job...I recently heard this big fuss over some high school student starting a Facebook hate group about a teacher. People are so dumb these days and I'm afraid to post anything that could incriminate me. Please call me for updates on the teaching. It's been quite interesting. Let me just share one small thing...

This is how one of my students spelled the word skeletal on her quiz...skelitail. Ha, ha...so funny.

Well I do have one other amusing story. Me and Chris have now been married for 6 months!! We have slowly made progress on our little apartment. We started by sleeping on an air mattress for 2 months and watching movies on my laptop. When the air mattress finally sprung a leak I gave into the idea of dropping some cash on a bed (yes, I have problems). We graduated to watching movies on our newly purchased and beloved bed. Then we finally inherited a television and now watch movies sitting on the carpet in our living room. Well, we finally got a hand-me-down sofa. This is where my story begins.

We actually had two couch offers at about the same time. A plaid green and white love seat that had the loving touch of a rambunctious two year old. It was in fairly good condition but a little bit of spilled Koolaid, a touch of Crayola, and more than a few grimy finger prints. The other a full length simple black sofa. Our first choice was the black sofa...but we were informed it may not become available until late April. After dragging my feet in the mud for a while, not bothering to ask someone if I could borrow their truck, I was forced to make a decision on the plaid love seat. Because it was free, and I wasn't given any confirmation on the black sofa, I decided I better not pass it up.

I arranged to borrow a truck from my cousin and we went and picked it up. Then I had a great idea. Chris gets the upholstery of his car cleaned annually over at the local car wash. What would be the difference in cleaning a couch?? So we drove our couch over to the car wash and asked if we could pay the same $30 fee to have the couch cleaned in the same fashion. They thought this was a strange request but consented. Well, my mark of genius soon went down hill. When we came out to view the couch, it was in a standing puddle of water. Saturated through and through! What were we to do with this sopping mess?? Where were we to put it while it dried? Not to mention it didn't really look much cleaner.

Come to find out, they decided to power spray the cushions with water! IDIOTS! This is NOT how they clean the interior of your car!!! Of course we couldn't really complain...I mean they didn't actually advertise any specialty in the cleaning of used couches. Well, we packed up our dripping mess of a couch and went home. We carted it into the communal laundry room to drip dry. Meanwhile I decided the cushions were not at all clean and began to fill my bathtub with laundry detergent. As I was up to my elbows in suds and saturated couch cushions I discovered the cushion covers simply zip off. That's right, all I had to do was zip off the covers and throw them in the washing machine! I am an IDIOT! Well, after four days of drip drying in our bath tub the cushions were finally dry. The couch frame had dried as well and the covers came out of the washing machine practically brand new!

Then no later than three days after this escapade my friend Cassie called me and told me her mother was indeed getting rid of the black sofa. IRONY. Oh well, anyone in the market for used couches please learn from my stupidity. Do not take your couch to the car wash!