Tuesday, September 28, 2010

ml, mm, and lbs

So yeah...I started working at Eagle Gate College back in February and consequently I haven't posted since February. No time and no Internet. Anyhow, one of Chris's friends is letting us borrow his old lap top. So I'm back in business...well maybe not quite but I'll spare ten minutes today.

The skinny on the latest happenings:

Realized my degree is still almost useless...at least when it comes to making a decent dollar for my time and intellect :) (don't I sound snotty...that's right it's Master Grant to you!) So I'm investing even more into education. Don't get me wrong, but Tommy Boy had a point...when you've gone to college for seven years and don't have a doctorate of any kind to show for it, one starts to question the return on investment. Anyhow I forked out some green for a CNA course so I could prove I was competent enough to wipe butts. Really it's probably the menial smalls tasks those of us with a higher education actually struggle with...okay, no we don't.

Anyhow, CNA's are actually required to take an 80 hour certification course! Then you must pass a written exam in addition to a practical exam in which you will be asked to perform 3-4 of the 28 skills you are expected to know. Only then can you get hired for a minimum wage job feeding the elderly a food processed version of what used to be a hot dog.

If you're wondering what these 28 skills consist of let me tell you. Everything from basic hand washing to complicated unit conversion problems. For example, in the hospital things are measured in ml or cc's. 1 ounce = 30 ml, so how many ml are in 5 ounces??? Tricky huh? Yeah, so the nurse who was teaching the course gave us a little unit conversion sheet so we could practice converting ounces to ml. This proved quite the difficult task for the lady sitting next to me. After explaining to her how to do each problem she asked, "How do you know all of this stuff? Do you do this for your job?"

Um, yes lady, I convert oz to ml's all day at work! "No, no, I guess I just always liked math in high school."

Not so bright smoker face replied, "Oh. When I was in school they didn't even teach us millimeters. The only thing we had back then was pounds, and that's all we used."

Yeah, I'm guessing that is NOT true. The last time I checked milliliters weren't invented in the last twenty years! And for the record it's milliLITERS not milliMETERS. You see milliliters are a unit of volume, millimeters are a unit of length, and pounds are not a measure of either volume or length! Pounds are a measure of weight. I tried once to explain the difference between millimeters and milliliters but she just said, "oh, okay", and then kept saying millimeters. Argh!

So this is who I'm going to class with these days. These are the future nurses of America and why is it that they get paid more than me??? Okay, jk...I know several smart nurses out there and that lady doesn't have a prayer of passing her CNA exam.

So that's the skinny.