Sunday, May 18, 2008

Apparently I'm not as funny as I thought I was!

As many of you know humor is something that is very important to me. How important?? Let's just say it has the potential to make or break a dating relationship.

I'm sure you have all experienced certain "break points" in your vast dating experience. You know, the point where you think in your head, "yeah, this isn't going to work out". I too can specifically recall a few of these experiences.

1) Blind Date Boy:
So if you are single, or have ever been single you have probably had the joy of being set up on a blind date. On one hand it can be very flattering that someone wanted to set you up. Yet more often than not I find myself face to face with a complete stranger thinking, "So this is all you think I'm capable of...gee thanks!" While I may sound like a shallow brat right now, I would like to say this is not the end all "breaking point" I speak of. Oh no, that would definitely be reserved for moments like this:

me: "So what types of things do you like to do?"

blind date boy: " mean besides learning about history and tracking institute teachers?" (red flag)

me: "Uh yeah, I mean do you like any outdoor activities or do you play any sports?"

blind date boy: "Well, sometimes I play church basketball, but I don't really like it very much. I'm not really an outdoors type of guy." BREAK POINT!

Okay, so not liking the outdoors may not be the worst thing in the world, but this guys definition of adventurous is trying a piece of fried calamari! Definitely not going to work out!

I would have come up with a different title for my next little example, but that's all that comes to mind. So this is the guy that wanted to "pretend date" me. You know, call me and hang out all the time but never take me out on an "official date". (red flag) What does this mean? It means he never gave me more than 5 minutes notice he wanted to hang out and rarely spent more than a $1 on me at red box! I'm not saying I need any type of Daddy Warbucks...but please, I think I'm at least worth an occasional super value meal at Wendy's! Needless to say I should have ditched this looser JERK FACE long before I actually did.

However the real slap in the face came during a DTR (define the relationship) type conversation. It probably went something like this:

me: "So what the crap is up with you and your JERK FACE ways?? I mean seriously, you seem to like me and yet we never actually seem to go out in public on any type of real date. If my face is horribly disfigured just be straight up and tell me!"

JERK FACE: "The thing is, you're really smart, and really laid back and chill, and you're really cute, and really adventurous, and your pretty funny...BREAK POINT!...but I just got out of a serious relationship and blah, blah, blah...

In case you didn't catch that, please re-read the phrasing. You're really, really, really...blah, blah, blah...really, really, really...blah, blah, blah...and you're pretty funny. EXCUSE ME! Pretty funny, what happened to really funny? Why really, really, really, and then just pretty funny? It's like saying, "and you're kinda funny". RU-UDE!!!

Lets just say I may not be Ellen DeGeneres, but I was definitely funnier than him! I pretty much knew it was over at that point.

The Point of this Post:
So those are just two examples of the "break point", but I'll stop there. The whole point of this was I haven't posted in a while because I couldn't think of anything witty to write, and what's the point of posting if it's not funny? I guess I'm just not as funny as I thought I was, (as pointed out by JERK FACE). So with no more side tracks I will now update you on my HALF IRON WOMAN training.

Things have been going really well. I've now reached the ridiculous point where I feel guilty if I only work out an hour a day. An "easy day" is now considered a 6 mile run followed up with a mile swim. However, even more ridiculous than that is my inability to lose any weight! That just goes to show how much I love food. For example, when asked if I wanted a piece of apple pie or a brownie and ice cream, my dear sweet friend Cassie responded for me, "she'll have both". Thanks Cass :) Anyhow, here's some of my stats from the past month:

April 21-27th
ran: 22 miles
biked: 85 miles
swam: 2500 yds

April 28th -May 4th
ran: 30 miles
biked: 73 miles
swam: 4800 yds

May 5-11th
ran: 27.5 miles
biked: 98 miles
swam: 3200 yds

April 12-18th
ran: 22 miles
biked: 114 miles
swam: 3200 yds

Let us keep in mind this is not including an additional 9-12 hours of salsa/week :) I still need to get the battery changed in my heart rate monitor so I can wear it to the club some night. So the tri is only 3 weeks away now! I'm going to make my best attempt to watch what I eat and shed maybe 5-7 lbs before the race. Seriously...just think what I could do for my running economy!


liz said...

ah, stupid Jerk Face! no worries stelle, some people just don't understand 'funny'...

and WAY to GO with your running, and biking and swimming. oh my!
wish i could be like you.

Katrina said...

holy smokes girlfriend! That is some serious calorie burning you are doing! I'm amazed. And I think you are more than just "pretty" funny.

Sassy Rachel said...

Holy Toledo I had no idea you were doing an iron are the woman! Hey, I say eat it're burning so much you need to. I eat it up and all I'm burning is my quesadilla on the stove (ok that was lame, but I think you're amazing)

Way to go...and as for the boys...lame-o's. Any boy who doesn't think you're hilarious and enjoy things such as simpson impersonations doesn't deserve another second of your time. You're way to funny for your own good stelle.

Ocean Dreamer said...

Thank you for that great post! Totally helped to clarify my random dating ordeals. You have an amazing sense of humor. Some boys just can't keep up with your incredible quick-wit, intelligence, and charm. Like their brain lapses over words or key phrases. It's a pity.

Cassie said...

Oh heck Crystelle. I just laughed out loud at here shoved into the computer corner at clear creek.