What have I gotten myself into?

Okay people, my unemployment woes are lost. That's right. I am starting a new job on Monday. The very first job in my life that pays me a salary and not an hourly wage. Well, BYU paid me a salary...but it was under $20,000 a year so that doesn't count.

Say hello to the lead instructor of the Personal Fitness Trainer program at Eagle Gate College. I will be teaching two combined Anatomy/Physiology classes as well as two Exercise Physiology Classes. Please don't let me sound ungrateful but let me just make a few lists of things I am pondering.

Things I will miss about unemployment...
1. Working out, (yoga, step aerobics, etc.) in conjunction with BYU broadcasting from 8-9am.
2. Running a few errands in the morning but making it home in time for TLC's What Not to Wear at 1pm.
3. Having the option of wasting my day doing house work as an excuse to listening to Harry Potter when I'm depressed about the job market.

Things I will not miss about unemployment...
1. Trying to buy groceries on $10/week and making my husband share my deodorant when his runs out.
2. Coming up with justifications for the way I wasted a day or two.
3. Watching my husband run himself into the ground trying to pick up extra shifts at work.
4. Eating beans four out of five nights of the week because that's what's in our pantry.

Pro's about my job...
1. I get Friday's off so it's always a three day weekend!
2. It's money...and although it's not a ton it's more than I've ever made before, it will be nice to start paying off some student loans.
3. It uses my degree! I had little hope of actually using my degree post graduation.
4. I can go out to dinner and a movie with my husband...maybe not in the same weekend but we haven't done either in the past five months we've been married. (Well, Chris's parents took us out a few times when they visited...but we personally haven't been out the two of us alone on our own wallets).
5. Basically I get PAID to do homework now.

Con's about the job...
1. Basically I have to continue doing homework!
2. It's in SLC so I will be commuting
3. My schedule is pretty spaced out...8am-10am then 6pm- 10pm Monday's and Wednesday's. Yes, I will be staying the night in SLC two nights a week and missing Chris a lot.
4. Right now I'm sharing an office with my boss, a dude, a nice dude but still...weird. If I'm going to be at school for 11 hrs a day I need a little personal space please. For clarification I have my own desk and computer but it's not a separate cubicle or anything. How can I waste a little time on facebook if my boss is watching over my shoulder! That should be my right as a working professional, two fifteen minute blog/facebook/email breaks every couple hours. (Everyone pray I will be moved to my own office space!!)
5. I have to wear professional clothes, do my hair, and make up, four days a week! Kill me now.

Okay, really the Pros were supposed to out weigh the Cons...and in reality they do. The financial stress has been lifted and we are so grateful in these economic times.

Unemployed

Well folks, you've probably guessed by the title...I am unemployed. At least I'm not homeless...at least not yet. I could be if I don't find a job.

So this is my frustration. I have spent thousands of dollars and 7 years of my life pursuing my "higher" education. I now have a bachelors and master's degree but still no high paying job.

Why did everyone lie to me as a youth and tell me school was important? I'll admit that I feel I developed some skills through my education...

1. How to meet unrealistic deadlines.

• The answer is to stay up all hours of the night with a Mountain Dew Code Red and a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos

2. The influence of Cardiac Output on Oxygen Uptake Kinetics

• Please email me if you'd like to read a copy of my thesis. A very lengthy paper on a subject matter almost no body in the world know the least bit about except those 30 other authors on my reference page.

3. How to procrastinate the day of my graduation and the inevitable job search.

• I may have been made fun of as "4th" year graduate student in a 2 year program, but this was perhaps the best move I ever made! I stayed employed by the university for about $30/hr teaching people how to take power naps and touch their toes.

Okay, enough of that. But seriously I have been applying to entry level positions paying $9/hr. I made more when I graduated high school! However that's not even the worst part...I have yet to even establish an interview for any of these entry level positions.

Can I drive the point home a little more? Today I decided to apply to be a temporary US census worker. I have to take a test which asked me to alphabetize works, add numbers, and determine how many houses were on a block by looking at a very simplistic map. Yes, degrading. The worst part of this embarrassing escapade was I ran into someone I knew! A fellow BYU graduate who informs me he has been unemployed for the past year! What is up?

If you happen to have completed reading my complaints please do not tell me to pursue my PhD at this time. Although it may improve my odds at employment that's another five years of Chili Cheese Fritos and I'm not sure my body could hack it.