Well folks, you've probably guessed by the title...I am unemployed. At least I'm not homeless...at least not yet. I could be if I don't find a job.
So this is my frustration. I have spent thousands of dollars and 7 years of my life pursuing my "higher" education. I now have a bachelors and master's degree but still no high paying job.
Why did everyone lie to me as a youth and tell me school was important? I'll admit that I feel I developed some skills through my education...
1. How to meet unrealistic deadlines.
- The answer is to stay up all hours of the night with a Mountain Dew Code Red and a bag of Chili Cheese Fritos
- Please email me if you'd like to read a copy of my thesis. A very lengthy paper on a subject matter almost no body in the world know the least bit about except those 30 other authors on my reference page.
- I may have been made fun of as "4th" year graduate student in a 2 year program, but this was perhaps the best move I ever made! I stayed employed by the university for about $30/hr teaching people how to take power naps and touch their toes.
Can I drive the point home a little more? Today I decided to apply to be a temporary US census worker. I have to take a test which asked me to alphabetize works, add numbers, and determine how many houses were on a block by looking at a very simplistic map. Yes, degrading. The worst part of this embarrassing escapade was I ran into someone I knew! A fellow BYU graduate who informs me he has been unemployed for the past year! What is up?
If you happen to have completed reading my complaints please do not tell me to pursue my PhD at this time. Although it may improve my odds at employment that's another five years of Chili Cheese Fritos and I'm not sure my body could hack it.